so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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