I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
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