she was so not down for the gang bang
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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