i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
