At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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