they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
