id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
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