we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
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