does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
