If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
