If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Randomize
