wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
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