afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
