My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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