It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
