I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
