Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
