Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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