If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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