I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
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