We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize