I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
and you said cock pushups were impossible
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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