i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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