Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Randomize
