We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
