I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize