so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
