How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I need to stop coming to work sober
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
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