I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
