Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
