Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
