We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
