they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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