Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
ttyl tear gas
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Randomize
