So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
