God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
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