One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
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He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
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I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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