he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I lost the right to judge tonight
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize