exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
our cab driver is having phone sex.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize