i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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