some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
