She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
You need a sexual gate keeper
Just pee around me
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
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