The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize