dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
