You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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