did you get engaged???
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
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