I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Randomize
