the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
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