so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Randomize
