you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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