he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
