His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Randomize
