Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
