I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
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